Why Women Stay in this Marriage

Why Women Stay

After seeing what domestic violence is, what abuses they go through, and why the men beat them, why do these women stay in such a violent relationship? It appears that, women who are getting beaten by their husbands are learned helplessness. This means that the women know what is going to happen, meaning they know that their husbands are going to beat them, but they do not do anything about it, they feel hopeless.

Justice for Women States:

“There are many reasons why women stay with violent partners, and each case is unique and should be viewed individually….. The most effective form of abuse is thought to be emotional, which is why men use not only physical violence but a combination of mental, verbal, economic and sexual abuse to control women.”

As we can see here, we cannot ask ourselves why the women stay because each reason is unique in its own way. There is not one answer for all of these women who stay in this marriage/relationship. Each and every women has a different view as to why they stay. For instance:

Economically Unstable

The woman might be economically unstable to live on her own and would stay in the relationship. Since most women that get beaten stay home and take care of her husbands needs, she will not have enough money to go away and live on her own. How will the woman have her own apartment or house if her husband has always been the breadwinner?

Their Children

The woman would also stay in such a relationship because she feels that the children are better off living with two parents rather than one. If the husband and wife have children, the woman feels that if the children lived with her they may not be able to survive as they do with their mother and father.

Worst Consequences

Since most men feel that they are the most powerful and they have full control of their women, they will become harsher to their women if they leave the house. The women were the ones who would do everything for the men.

For example, make dinner, listen to every word their husband had to say, and also take in all the pessimistic comments and also there for their husband to hit and push around. So therefore, if the women do leave, the men would get a hold of them and try to kill them because she left.

Nowhere to Go

The woman feels that she cannot survive without her husband and fear that she cannot be with anyone else because of her low self esteem. The woman feels that she is ugly, fat, or dirty because her husband made her feel that way. If she leaves her husband, she will not have the strength to go out and try to find someone else because she feels that everyone else would see her the same way her husband has because she has heard such negative remarks her whole life.

Their Husband Will Not Hurt Her Again

In the third stage of the battering cycle, the husband tells the wife that he will not drink anymore, will attend church, will treat her better, and will not hurt her again. Claudia states “My mother did not leave because that was the love of her life. Also, she was scared of what he would have done if she left.”

Some women might have different reasons why they would not want to leave the marriage, but they are better off getting away before they get extremely injured or killed. There are millions of children out there that see and hear their mothers getting beaten. Some of which can have long-term consequences.

My Outlook

Speaking as a woman, this is very sad to think about. I still have yet to understand why the women stay in such a relationship. Their husbands are not doing anything but hurting them and making them feel worthless. I really hope that women become stronger and never let this happen to them.
Why Do Women Stay With VIolent Men? (n.d.). Retrieved October 29, 2008, from Justice for Women Web site: http://www.justiceforwomen.org.uk/LEAVE.HTM